Unlock Lasting Midlife Changes With These Three Straightforward Questions
Are you ready for a change?
Sure, we all want to make changes that benefit us and improve our lives. But actually doing it is easier said than done, right?
I’ve made lots of changes since 1995. That’s the year I dove headfirst into personal development. But even though I made the changes, it wasn’t always easy.
Over the years, I realized that I needed a way to help me figure out how committed I was to each change. Because I knew my level of commitment would determine my level of success.
To this end, I developed a few questions to help me think things through so I could make sure I was committed to making changes that last. Because there’s nothing more disheartening than having to go back through the process because a change didn’t stick.
These questions can work for any change you’re considering. Use them to give you some structure as you think things through before you tackle your next change.
1) Is this change a priority?
Most of our midlife changes are ongoing activities, like eating healthier or losing weight. For these changes, consistency is the secret to success.
But sometimes, life happens. There will be moments when you have no control of your circumstances. There will be moments when you’re completely thrown off your routine. That’s why it's important to decide in advance if this change is a priority or not.
“If it’s a priority, you can schedule it at a time when you’re at your best and when you’re the most disciplined.”
For example, I’m at my best in the morning so I start my day with two of my top priorities: moving my body and spending time with God. Moving my body energizes me, even if it’s a quick walk or 15 minutes of Pilates. My time with God gives me peace and makes my day go easier.
Completing both of these priorities keep me balanced and focused throughout the day, especially when routines and schedules blow up.
Decide if this change is your priority in order to make sure it always gets done. Put it on your calendar, and protect that time ferociously.
Because when things around you are out of control, you’ll be able to stay calm and carry on.
2) What activity am I stopping?
This may sound like an odd question, but you’re asking it for a specific reason.
Knowing what you don't want helps you better understand what you do want. It helps you get more clarity on what does and doesn’t matter.
“When figuring out what to stop, you’re defining the important from the unimportant.”
You’re also defining how you’ll be spending your time. Releasing an activity or two means you’ll be freeing up time in your calendar so you can move into question three.
3) When will I do this?
Many among us wear busyness as a badge of honor, as if it’s something to aspire to. (It’s not.)
If you’re one of these people, congratulations. You’ve officially trained your brain to default to, “I can’t do that. I’m too busy.”
“Here’s a secret: You’re never too busy to do the things that matter to you.”
Admit it, you always find time to:
Binge your favorite series on Netflix
Play your favorite sport
Volunteer at your favorite non-profit
Get together with your favorite people
It always gets done, doesn’t it?
So if making this change matters to you, you’ll figure out a way to make it happen. Whether you find big chunks or small pockets of time, you'll get it done.
Consider these three questions as a “warm-up” before making a midlife change. They’ll give you clarity on the importance of the change and help you stay focused and disciplined, even in the most challenging times.
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