How To Live Lightly And Freely in Midlife
Have you ever had days when things just feel heavy? Days where it feels like you’re slogging through mud during even the simplest, most routine, most mundane tasks.
I call it "fighting the tofu" because it's kind of like when you hit tofu and the tofu hits back (boing!).
Sometimes the day feels heavy because there's a lot coming at you. It could be the news, social media, work or adjusting pick-up schedules with the family.
Other days may feel heavy because it feels like you're moving in slow motion. Maybe you didn't sleep well or you’re experiencing pain. Maybe there's something on your mind. Maybe your mindset isn't in the right place to be dealing with the day-to-day routine.
So how do we change that? How do we change our mindset so we can live lighter, easier, more freeing lives?
Discovering wisdom
In Matthew 11:28-30, the NIV version says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest….For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
When I heard that, I thought, “Light. I want a light life.”
Then I picked up “The Message,” which is a version of the Bible that puts things in a little bit more contemporary language for understanding. It says:
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burnt out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
When I read this, I got excited because it used words that were explaining those things that I was feeling. As I meditated on this Scripture, I thought, “I'm going to come up with a life motto." I paraphrased a bit and came up with:
“Live lightly and freely in the unforced rhythms of grace.”
For me, that explains exactly the type of life I want. What about you?
Three steps to lighter living
1) Be aware and fully present
There’s an abundance of self-knowledge available to you when you stay in the present moment. That means you stay off autopilot and pay attention to your life at any given moment.
“When you’re fully present, you’re alive and awake. ”
Begin by putting down the phone or the remote a few times a day. Look around. Pay attention your surroundings. Smile at someone walking by. Go for a walk without your earbuds. Look at the details in the plants and flowers as you walk.
Being aware and present is refreshing. It’s one of the best ways to live lightly and freely every day.
2) Stop beating yourself up
Beating yourself up doesn't make things better. It's just a waste of time and energy.
Instead, focus on what's going right, even if it's just for a few minutes at a time. If you can hold it for only a few minutes, that's okay. Remember Easy Agers do fun-sized actions. We start with two minutes, and we increase the time as we go forward.
Begin actively looking for all the good things, the blessings, in your life.
“Big or small, profound or silly, focus on the things you’re grateful for.”
Yep, you’ve heard it before but it’s true: Practicing gratitude can make your day lighter. It can also help you create something very powerful and positive for your life.
3) Accept and offer help regularly
Friend, humble yourself. You're not an island, and nobody wants you to be. This is one of the most beautiful things in life.
This was a tough one for me. Growing up, I was taught to be independent and make my own way. But after a few health issues, I realized I needed to let go of that mindset. Now, I genuinely appreciate that I’m not an island and I readily accept help whenever it’s offered.
“Sometimes, your day can be lightened simply by someone offering to help…even though they can’t actually help you. ”
A while back, I was struggling with tech issues. When that happens, there’s not a lot you can do except wait for the tech company to get its act together and fix things. (insert eye roll here)
Nevertheless, a friend from my small group texted me, offering to help in any way possible.
I began tearing up because I was so grateful that someone was kind enough to reach out. She couldn’t help me, but she lightened my day just by offering.
Accepting and offering help blesses both sides. You’ll be blessed when you accept the help, but you’ll also be blessed when you offer it.
A Fun-Sized Action
Focus on implementing one of these steps for the next couple of weeks. Put reminders in your phone or add post-it notes to your computer.
Sign up to get your copy of “Easy Aging® Essentials,” a free email course designed to help you upgrade your mindset, get midlife clarity and use bite-sized nuggets of action to design the life that’s perfect for you.
